food freedom

Do I Trick or Do I Treat?

October 20, 2022 by Kerri Fullerton

Halloween can be a tricky dilemma for families, especially now when sugar and carbs are vilified by diet and wellness culture. Some believe we’re teaching our children to binge eat and that Halloween is unhealthy. At the same time, others believe that it is a childhood rite of passage.

Can you create healthy eating patterns for your children and participate in Halloween? I’ve heard of a few different strategies.

• Let your kids go collecting and limit how much they eat each day.
• Not restrict. Just let them have at it.
• Let them experience collecting candy but not let them eat it. Allow them to trade it for toys or cash.
• Not let them go. Take them to a movie instead.

My experience with Halloween was troubling as a child. I loved it! Up until we had to hand over our candy, and it was doled out in rations. It was stressful picking the one or two pieces I was allowed each day.

The best way to add value to anything is to restrict it. This is true in all areas of life. If everyone and anyone can get something, it’s not valued. If it’s rare, it’s revered, and its value increases. We want what we can’t have. And we know now from research that food restriction leads to disordered eating and secret eating. That is precisely what happened to me.

We are teaching our kids that candy is so special and rare. For some kids like me, this turns into a habit of secret eating and food hoarding. These children feel ashamed because they know they “shouldn’t,” but they can’t help themselves. They will ‘steal’ food and scarf it back as fast as they can before anyone catches them. This often leads to intrusive and obsessive food thoughts.

Perhaps it would be easier if you did not allow your kids to go trick-or-treating. Could that be a solution? Then there would be no candy to worry about. Unfortunately, being left out is hard on a kid’s self-esteem. Halloween is discussed on TV shows, at school, and with friends. It’s a big conversation – What will you go out dressed up as? What candy did you get? So as a parent, this wasn’t a solution for our household.

We’ve allowed my son to go out and get his loot. Of course, we go through it to ensure it’s safe to eat. Then when he is going to eat his candy, he eats with attention paid to the candy itself. At first, he wasn’t allowed to eat the candy mindlessly while watching TV or playing video games. He could eat at the table or sit on the floor with his candy spread out. Now, we don’t enforce the mindful bit as much. He’s learned to eat until he’s done.

What’s happened in my house using this approach is that candy is never gone. Every year there is always leftover candy getting tossed out the following September. Only the candy that is tasty and satisfying gets eaten. Over the years, there has only been one big tummy ache from overeating candy. That stomach-ache wasn’t enjoyable, so he hasn’t done it again.

If this is too scary, consider putting some candy out at a few different snacks and mealtimes throughout the weeks. Put it out with the rest of the foods that you’re serving. Let them decide what order they will eat their food in. If they know it’s regularly coming and can eat it without judgement, it’s much easier for them to listen to their bodies.

Remember, they’re going to be exposed to sugar in life. I see our job as parents to help them feel confident and competent in managing whatever food is in front of them. Trust is built through experience, so I believe that they need to experience a lot of different foods in different ways to see what feels good for them.

Intuitive Eating and Food Sensitivities

May 6, 2022 by Kerri Fullerton

Cheese is delicious. And my body isn’t such a big fan. My mouth and brain are all in. My guts…not so much.

Making peace with food can be tricky and more nuanced when there are food sensitivities. How can I have unconditional permission to eat if I know that some foods will cause unpleasant symptoms?

I have to remember that I am allowed to eat anything that I want, including cheese. I’m a grown woman with full autonomy over my food choices. So if I want to eat cheese, I can. And if I choose to eat cheese I will also experience some uncomfortable gut stuff.

How does that saying go? You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of that choice.

So I ask myself, which experience would I prefer? I can enjoy the experience of the cheese and suffer the experience the gut stuff. Or I can experience the sense of loss by not eating the cheese and have no gut stuff.

As long as I don’t judge one choice as right and one as wrong, I just get to choose. Sometimes the cheese is the right choice. Pizza for instance can sometimes be an experience worthy of some gut stuff. Often it’s not.

Here’s another example of choose the experience.

I’m prone to under-eating during the day. I get into whatever I’m working on and don’t notice my hunger cues until I’m REALLY hungry. A really hungry body makes difference choices than a comfortably hungry body does. From what it craves to how much food is needed to satisfy. I prefer the comfortably hungry choices to the over hungry choices. So, I set reminders to check in with my hunger levels throughout the day. If I’m hungry but find myself wanting to “just do one more thing,” I ask myself which experience I would prefer. Again, without judgement.

And if I choose to work instead of eat, and I find myself into old food patterns later in the day, I remind myself with compassion that that was the experience that I chose for the day.

We get to make these choices so many times during the day. As long as judgement is left out, it can be an empowering experience.

If you’re looking for help in designing a strategy to allow you food freedom, book a call to see if we’re a good fit.

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What’s for dinner?

November 2, 2021 by Kerri Fullerton

Isn’t it always the way. You barely get your morning coffee or tea, and someone asks “What’s for dinner tonight?” Huh? Dinner? I haven’t even poured my milk into my cup of strength and you want to know what’s for dinner? Ugh!

It’s like this all day. You need to plan for dinner at 7am so you can take something out of the freezer for that night. But you also have to plan what lunch the kids are taking to school and you’re taking to work. Oh, and let’s not forget, you still need to eat breakfast. And you’ve got 45 minutes to get it together and out the door! I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend this much time thinking about eating. And I also want tasty satisfying food ready when I’m hungry.

One of the ways that I avoid this daily brain strain is to pre-plan some of my week. I sit down for a half hour or so and plan the entire week’s meals (or just a day or two if my capacity can’t think that far)- dinner for sure, sometimes lunch. Then I plan what I need to do in advance to make those meals and make a grocery list. I always make my plan based on the week’s events. Does the kid have practice at 6pm on Tuesday? Friday Night Family Night? Planning around my week, in advance, makes the morning more relaxed and less hair-pulling and I’m not trying out some new recipe when I have to run out the door.

If you’re planning on doing prepared meals – as in YOU prepare them – then leave that for the days that have more time. Preseason the chicken and freeze it. Put the ingredients to marinade the steak into a sealed bag with the steak and freeze it. You get the idea. Make the protein or casseroles in advance so all you need to do is veggies and starch (I also tend to have starches cooked in the fridge ready for a reheat). I realize that this assumes you have freezer space – if you don’t leave it in the fridge and cook it within a few days.

Want to try something new? Great. Just make sure that you have the time, money and capacity to do that. I generally try to limit that to once a week max.

For snacks and breakfasts I rely on my Master Food List. It’s my list of foods that I like to eat. I can then scan it and go “yes, that’s what I’d like right now” when my mental capacity isn’t there. For instance, I happen to love celery and peanut butter, but for some reason, I forgot about it. Or tuna melts for breakfasts – super satisfying but rarely something that I think about.

If you’re the type that enjoys dessert or eating out, plan for it. Meal planning in my house isn’t about restriction – it’s about mental peace.

My meal planning strategies are a little unconventional, but they’ve worked in my house for years.

Join my Mindful Meal Planning program so you can avoid the overwhelm of the Dinner Decision.

Mindful Meal Planning

Breakfast can be a very confusing meal.

June 25, 2021 by Kerri Fullerton

We understand the importance of protein for keeping our blood sugars steady and brains going for the day. But and we’ve been told that eggs have too much cholesterol and meat has too much fat – especially breakfast meats as they tend to be processed meats. We hear we shouldn’t eat those because they might cause cancer. So we turn to vegan sources only to be told that soy is genetically modified and not good for us…

Bread. Poor bread. It’s certainly not safe or appropriate because, you know, it’s bread so…

What on earth are we supposed to eat for breakfast!

Lots of people have turned to smoothies. Then again you have to decide on the protein source (whey is dairy, soy is soy, pea – is it a carb or a protein?), how much fruit is acceptable to go in it, and are you allowed to use milk or yoghurt or is that no good either? What about nut milks? I’ve heard some rumours stirring around about those…

Eating has become complicated and confusing and downright scary at times.

It used to just be that the’diet’ world told us to eat nasty food and avoid tasty food. We would ‘suffer in the name of thinness’. That’s not cool anymore though. So we have the wellness industry on board preaching health instead of thinness but the end result is the same: confusion, fear and stress.

Since we know that stress contributes greatly to all kinds of health issues (including but not limited to: cardiovascular disease, diabetes, mental health, gut health, and inflammation) AND we’re told to reduce/manage our stress at every turn….why is nobody talking about how our food rules are contributing to ill health?

If trying to feed yourself is causing stress, fear or anxiety then it’s not contributing to your overall health.

Sometimes we have to STOP thinking about what we’re eating in order to positively impact our health.

Let’s Plan Breakfast

How Intuitive Eating Rekindled My Love Of Baking

February 7, 2020 by Kerri Fullerton

Today I needed a break. I’d been at my computer for hours and was starting to feel tired and uninspired.

Meditation didn’t feel right – I was concerned that I’d fall asleep.

I had a walk planned for later.

So I decided to do some baking.

Now, this is a pretty big deal. I remember taking baking breaks while I was studying for my regulatory exams. They were more an emotional distraction than they were a true act of self-care, but that story is for another time…

Today, I turned on the tunes and grabbed my ingredients.

While I bopped around the kitchen, I can’t tell you what I was I thinking about.

I can tell you what I was NOT thinking about.

I was not wondering if I’d:

binge on the cookies or the dough
done enough exercising to warrant eating cookies
been good enough this week to eat cookies
get fat from eating cookies
get over the guilt for not resisting wanting to bake cookies

If you’ve read my about me page on my site you’ll know that licking a spoon was what killed my last weight-loss attempt. What a stark difference to today where I not only licked the beaters and spatula*, but I also forgot about the cookie dough balls in the freezer!! It was 3 hours later before I even ate a cookie.

*yes I know that eating raw cookie dough comes at a risk – I’m willing to take it

This is one expression of the food freedom that I’ve found. My journey has been anything but a straight line, and the work has been worth it. Intuitive eating has given me the tools that I need to enjoy cookies and not worry about eating all of the cookies. In fact, I freeze the cookie dough balls so that I can bake a few cookies when I want them and they’re fresh and gooey every single time. That alone would have caused serious anxiety during my dieting and binge days. They would’ve called to me every single day. I wouldn’t have waited for them to thaw or to cook before they’d be in my mouth.

Freezing cookie dough balls means freshly baked cookies in under 15 minutes!

So what’s different? Why do I feel safe now?

I learned to practice self-compassion.

Weight loss programs and cultural norms told me that cookies were a sometimes food and that they had to be eaten in moderation and not at all if I believed that I was addicted to sugar (which I did, for a long time). I was trained to be ‘on the wagon’ or off.

Self-compassion gave me the skills to live in the middle.

Unconditional permission to eat.

The third principle of Intuitive Eating is Make Peace with Food. It’s poorly understood and often referred to as Permission to Binge.

Here’s how I understand it:

I’m a grown woman with the affluence to access food whenever I want it.
I have full autonomy over my food choices.
Simply put, I can eat whatever I want.

I also understand that I’m not free of the consequences of eating whatever I want. So I know that if I eat a lot of cookies, I won’t feel well (I’ve done it enough times to know this is true).
Since I respect my body and I want to feel good, I only eat enough cookies to feel satisfied. That number varies every time and knowing that there’s no maximum I can refer to my body to tell me when I’m done.

I honour my hunger and my biological need for food.

Letting myself get over-hungry leaves me more vulnerable to pleasure foods (my term for calorie dense, junk food, fast food, sometimes foods, play foods etc). By eating enough food regularly, I’m not trying to eat a meal of cookies (again, something that I’ve done enough times to know that it doesn’t feel good) and since I’m not starving, I can count on my body to tell me if cookies are what I’d like right now (shocking truth – sometimes I don’t want a cookie even when they’re there)

If you’re new to Intuitive Eating and this still seems impossible, please be patient with yourself. Check out Kristin Neff’s work on Self-compassion. And if you can, find a IE certified counsellor to work with. The nuances of IE are where the magic lies and the freedom exists. That stuff is harder to get by simply reading the book.

Dedicated to helping you find peace and power with your body,

Gluten-free baking tip:

Keep a bowl of water nearby so that you can keep your hands damp while forming the cookie balls. It helps keep the batter from clumping up on your hands.