Dr. Kerri Fullerton ND

Intuitive Eating. Health At Every Size (HAES) Doctor

body image

My size doesn’t limit my participation

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I love being on the water. I love being near water. It just soothes me in a way that nothing else can.

But being in the water typically means wearing a bathing suit. And for most of my life that was hard. Having other people see my body, my fear of their judgement about my body – it was distracting from the activity that I was participating in.

Let me call out my privilege right now. I’ve never been in a really big body. The body that I have now is the biggest one I’ve had. I didn’t have to worry about finding a kayak that would support my weight or accommodate my size. That is a privilege.

But I didn’t understand the concept of privilege back then, and honestly, I don’t think that knowing it would’ve changed how hard it was to be seen. Because my body image challenges have never been about my body.

Let me say that again: my body image issues weren’t about my body.

My lack of body confidence came from growing up around women that were always at war with their own bodies. Always on a diet or about to start a diet after falling off the wagon. They spoke harshly about their own bodies and those of others.

My fear of judgement was part of undiagnosed anxiety.

My body dissatisfaction was from girls calling other girls (that were my size or smaller) fat. And hearing things like “if I ever get like that just shoot me”.

I believed with all of my being that I was too big and that if I could just have the body that I wanted then….then I’d be happy and confident.

Being able to enjoy being on the water without all of that chatter is one of the best results of my #foodfreedom #bodyacceptance journey.

🏝 traveling to Hawaii and actually being there (vs in my head)
🌺 paddle boarding with my friends in San Diego without comparing myself
☀️ saying yes to an impromptu kayak adventure with friends

I really didn’t realize how much life I was missing because of my focus on how I looked. By either opting out because of a bad-body-image-day or missing out while I was there because of the chatter in my head.

My size doesn’t limit my participation in life unless I let it. This is where understanding my privilege has helped so much because that statement isn’t actually true for a lot of people. A lot of people can’t participate because our world isn’t set up for large and very large bodies.

While I do my part to create a world of inclusion, I will no longer miss out on the opportunities life has on offer.

What would you do if you weren’t thinking about how you looked? Or worried about what other people thought about how you looked?

Let’s find out!

A game that can’t be won isn’t a fun game at all

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Nobody wants to play a game that can’t be won.

Weight loss is one of those games.

Early on in our weight loss careers – and for many, it is a career – we did lose weight, and usually it was easy. That set the belief that weight loss is achievable, so we keep playing the game without realizing that we never get to play THAT game again.

That first weight loss attempt was unique. Our body wasn’t prepared for it. So while it sorted out how to protect you from starvation, the weight dropped off.

But your body is brilliant. It’s especially brilliant at taking care of you, and that means making sure that you don’t starve. And no, you don’t have to do anything extreme like drinking only shakes or fasting for this to happen. It will happen with ANY energy deficiency – even moderate ones.

Your body will ready for the next time. As soon as the energy starts to drop, it will pump out a bunch of hormones that will force you to think about food. You may be able to distract yourself a bit, but your body will keep pushing food as the priority – the same way that it would push air as a priority if your breathing were impaired.

Adrenaline will start to be pumped out more frequently, giving you a slight illusion that you’re kicking ass and taking names – feeling like a million bucks. Best. Diet. Ever! But that can’t be carried on long-term either. That system is meant to get you away from danger so that you can rest. It’s not designed as a permanent state of being. So the next time, that won’t last as long either. Your body will pump out cortisol that will leave you feeling more hungry, not less.

The weight loss game is rigged to fail. You cannot stop your body from protecting you – and you should not try. Instead of being mad at it, give it a quick thanks. It’s had your back this whole time.

So what then? Just give up?

The Game Is Rigged In The House’s Favour

Am I suggesting that you give up a game that rigged? Yes, yes I am.

I’m suggesting that you acknowledge that you’ve been tricked into playing this game for other people’s profit and agendas. Get mad! Take your ball and go home! Start playing a new game!!

In this game, you have your body’s back and it has yours. Together you can work as a team.

And the best part is that with this game … you can win on the regular. You become “the House.”

What makes this game so different?

You spend your time and energy focused on things that are within your control – your behaviours.

Ante Up for You!

Overcoming Food Issues For Good

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If you’ve struggled with your weight or food at all, you’ve likely spent a good number of hours googling different diets, lifestyles, cleanses, and hormones. You know that overcoming food and body issues can be overwhelming and confusing.

Did you know that the first low carb diet was introduced in 1863? Since then it’s made many comebacks under different names with different tweaks, the current version being keto.

The first vegetarian society was formed in 1847. Currently we have Game Changers promoting a plant-based diet and the more politically driven vegans.

What’s my point?

We have been talking about ‘what’ to eat for centuries. We love to talk about the biology of food and weight; the merits and pitfalls of certain types of foods and ways of eating.

One would think that after hundreds of years we would have come up with a consensus right? But no, the debate rages on.

So what have we missed? Why is it that more and more people are struggling with their food and their bodies?

The Triad that is YOU

To overcome, like really-deal-with-overcome, food issues, we must deal with the triad of what makes us human: our mental, physical, and emotional beings. And we must deal with them all at the same time.

It is this triad that makes up YOU. And YOU are unique. YOU bring your history and experience and beliefs to every single part of your life, including your diet*. It’s no wonder that we haven’t found one way of eating that suits everybody. *Note: when I use the term diet here, I mean simply ‘what’ you eat. A cow’s diet is grass. 

We’re very comfortable working in the physical sphere. This space feels safe – let’s talk about hormones, sugar, carbs, fats, animal protein, plant protein, leptin, weight… This is where we’ve kept the conversation for centuries.

More recently we’ve acknowledged the mental and emotional parts of ourselves as contributing factors but we’re still not comfortable there. They’re mentioned in passing in most of the current weight loss systems out there. Even if their massive impact on your well-being is acknowledged, they’re rarely addressed with as much focus as the physical. You’re expected to figure this part out on your own. And when it’s not part of the program, it’s left as ‘one more thing’ and we all know how that goes. So we keep on talking about the biology of food and weight.

Just like a stool needs it’s three legs to be strong and present to hold YOU up, so does your overall well-being. If you’re consistently neglecting even just one, the stool cannot hold YOU up.

So the next time that you consider making changes to your diet, ask yourself if you’ll be giving attention to the other parts of the triad as well.

How will you work on the emotional part of eating?

What steps will you take to manage your food habits and external triggers?

And as always, I’m here to help if you need it.

Dedicated to helping you find peace and power with your body,

Kerri

P.S. Have you downloaded your Body Appreciation Meditation yet?