Recovering from the Easter Bunny – After a Binge

Food has been part of celebration, grief, and tradition for as long as human history dates back. It’s not going anywhere. So when holidays like Easter come around, things can get a bit stressful. The endless sweet treats delivered by the Easter Bunny fill many homes with unwanted temptation; so how did it go? If your answer is ‘not well’ you’re not alone. Problematic eating behaviours are far more common than we realize[i], and with the size of the diet and fitness industry, that’s no surprise. So many women are fighting their own personal battles with food, with their bodies, and with their thoughts. With all of this pressure on us, it’s important to know that there’s a way out. We don’t need to feel trapped or isolated by food anymore. It’s not a one shot deal, but I promise you, there is something at the other side of this.

Even from the young age of five or six I remember Halloween being a rough time for me. I was always so excited to gather all the candy, but absolutely mortified to find that it was going to be taken away. My candy was immediately rationed out and I was never allowed to just indulge and have what I wanted. But I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me; I wasn’t able to have just one or two candies like my parents wanted me to. For me, only having a couple was torture. So as I got older I learned not to eat what I wanted in front of other people. I would sneak food, eat in private or in hiding, then I would scrunch the wrappers up and get rid of the evidence. This was all to make sure I would never get caught eating.

I remember babysitting in my preteens and rummaging through the cupboards looking for anything I could get my hands on. The shame I felt by doing this was absolutely overwhelming. My first official diet was when I was 12. I was very uncomfortable and embarrassed in my body. I went to my mom and asked if she could help me. She was always on one diet or another, so she was the person to ask. She took me to the doctor and he couldn’t understand. I was already at a healthy weight, but because I insisted, he directed me to Weight Watchers. I know now that I was trying to manipulate a body that didn’t have anything wrong with it. I didn’t actually need to lose weight, but I believed that it would make me happier, and I believed it would bring me confidence. It developed my fear of getting fat, and I was willing to do just about anything. But it was the moment I began my first diet that my disordered eating began. That’s when the bulimia swept in. For years I was plagued with worry and fear. But gradually, as I was going through school to become a naturopathic doctor, I found another way.

Recently I marked an anniversary; I have not thrown up, on purpose, for 8 years now. Not that I never overeat, but bulimia is not part of my life anymore. Believe me, it really is attainable. Know that the feelings of shame, thoughts of negative body image and self-criticism are what binging is really about, not the food itself. So often we talk about food, but we don’t talk about this important stuff. We need to focus our energy on developing our self- respect, and dare I say, our self-love.

Here’s how you can overcome overeating:

Release – This first step is all about forgiveness. Every failure that you’ve had with dieting is weighing you down. It could be anything, a small slip up, a binge or the taste of a treat that throws you into a tailspin of heaviness. Every one of these perceived failures chips away at your confidence and prevents you from moving forward[ii]. Get focused and let go of the guilt and shame. You do this by finding acceptance. It’s not about condoning the negative food act, it’s about accepting that there will be slips ups and mistakes and not letting it have any power over you. Don’t make everything into such a big deal. Think about how heavy a glass of water is. It’s light when you pick it up and put it down, but how heavy does it get when you hold it for an hour. How heavy is it if you try to hold it for a week? Release the feelings of guilt and shame and unburden yourself. Once you have accepted that what happened, actually happened (you overate, you binged, whatever it is) it’s time to move on. Colouring, tai chi, meditation, yoga or really anything that lets you refocus, is a great way to begin to allow your body to release any negative feelings you have.

Realign – We need to understand what we’re actually looking for. You might think it’s weight loss, and the world is telling you it’s weight loss, but that’s probably not what it’s really about. We need to understand that health and weight are not the same, they may be related, but they are NOT the same. We all see the ads; the diet and fitness industry is constantly encouraging us to drop the weight: “Drop 20 pounds in 30 days!”. But what they don’t tell you is that almost all diet and weight loss plans do not see any long term benefits[iii]. They don’t tell you that research supports the body’s ability to become healthier without losing any weight at all. When you re-define your goals from weight loss to focus on actual health benefits, you’re able to discover what you truly want. Would you like to have more energy, more blood sugar control, or keep up with your kids? Healthy to me means being able to live a life I love in the body I have and being able to participate in anything I want to participate in. Find a new way to measure your goals, and use that to define your success, not your weight.
Relearn – Now you have to relearn how to eat. We’ve been taught strict food rules ever since we were young. But before we learn new rules, we need to unlearn all those other old ones. Instead of labeling everything as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ we need to find a balance. The world of nutritional science is still so young that much of the information out there is deceptive. Instead, trust that your body knows what you need and how much you need. You can learn to make all foods safe, and get rid of the stigma around them. No more skipping or skimping meals; primal hunger from being starving removes your ability to control yourself. When you satisfy yourself, you’re less likely to overindulge. Finding success with any long term food plan requires the inclusion of foods you love. Follow what your body tells you. Food needs to satisfy your body’s needs, and the needs of your taste buds.

Food doesn’t need to be scary, and it doesn’t need to be private. We don’t need to feel guilty around food, and we don’t need to constantly be wondering what our butts looks like in those jeans. You’ll find you have so much more time when you shut off and block out those negative thoughts. Tune into what your body wants and remember your forgiveness and acceptance. Know that this is a process, and it will take practice. We take care of the things we respect. So work on finding respect for yourself and your body, instead of dropping weight. No matter what, remember that there is always hope; your new journey is only just beginning.

Until next time,